A Grand Party

Toad of Toad Hall (www.zandrascreations.com)

A friend of Mr McG’s was once invited to a very grand house for a very grand weekend party.

He arrived the first evening, slightly late, a little intimidated, and had to quickly change for dinner and join the house-party downstairs. Too shy to ask where the toilets were, by bedtime he was bursting to use the facilities. Alas, a row of identical doors faced him on his corridor.

Unwilling to wake other guests and by now desperate, he cast around for a recipient and, to his joy, discovered an old-fashioned potty in his bedside table. With a sigh, he relieved himself.

The next morning, loath to be caught wandering the corridors with a full potty, he decided to empty it from his window.

He leaned out, carefully upturned the potty, which, to his horror, parted from the handle and crashed, three storeys down, exploding like a bomb through the glass conservatory below — where her ladyship and guests were having breakfast.

History doesn’t relate what happened afterwards, but I suspect none of it was good.