The wee granny

The Wee Granny McSporran

My wonderful mother-in-law, The Wee Granny (TWG) — or The Wheeeeeee Granny (she was deaf as a post and her hearing aids would whistle) — stayed with us regularly.

This time was in the interestingly named town of Gland in Switzerland.

Before leaving for work that morning, I told her a man would be coming by to check the window frames but that I’d be home before.

That evening, I commented: “The man’s late.”

She said:”Oh, I forgot to say...you missed him!”

“What?” I exclaimed, “But I TOLD him not to come before 6. I cant believe he’s been already. Did he say anything?”

She answered: “Yes, he said he’d had a fucking awful day and left again!”

I gaped at her: “What??..... But.....did he speak English??” (TWG spoke no French.)

She looked at me as if I’d taken leave of my senses: “Well....er....Yes. And he said not to forget the dry-cleaning.”

I stared at her, slack-jawed.

“Who are YOU talking about?”

There was a pause while we regarded each other.

She was just shaping the words: “Well, your hus......“ when the doorbell rang. I opened the door to the window-frame man. Behind me I heard TWG convulsing.